With a lot of catching-up to do, I start with these BTS photos of one of the shootings I was part of
at sisterMAG. For those who don't know: After staying in Berlin for 7 months, I decided to move
back to Vienna for now. I enjoyed working at sisterMAG and this was an experience I don't wanna
miss ever. I learned a lot about this line of business and also about myself. For real now, it was
absolutely amazing. I got to know a lot of creative people – especially my lovely co-workers – found
the creative side that I didn't even knew existed, and challenged myself in many different ways. I was
living the dream, that I was longing for under all circumstances about a year ago. At this point you'll
probably ask yourself: Why the fuck is she back then? Some of you may know that I had the hardest
time being away from my family too. I told myself that it would just take some time to get used to it.
And I was right. I actually got used to it. This doesn't mean that I was happy. After spending an
almost five-week vacay with my family, I caught myself crying, without any reason, when I was
only thinking about going back. Yeah, I know right? This sounds soooo dramatic. So I told myself
to have my emotional five minutes and be all gangster again. I Persuading myself that I was just
exaggerating, I packed my things, hold my tears back and flew back to Berlin – the City where my
dream job was waiting for me.
After being back a week, I was happy to see everyone again. Like, the girls were the sweetest and I
was really happy to be back. But still, I felt like something just wasn't right. So I decided to do
something, that even surprised me at the end of the day. I just told myself to go trust my gut feeling.
I am that kind of person that always has at least kind of a plan and sticks to it. And trust me: The
decision to leave after a week wasn't part of the plan for sure.
I felt good and relived but was annoyed at the same time. I was angry for not taking the challenge.
Cause who's to blame if I find out after a few months, that this wasn't the right decision? Me and only
me. And blaming myself makes it to top 5 of my shitlist. A few days went by, and this anger just
turned into excitement of going back to Vienna. Now that I'm back, I can say, that I made the right
decision for myself. I stopped thinking about what life would look like if I'd decided to stay. I just
know that I will never ever find out. But I find myself writing this last sentence with a smile on my
face.
It's not only about not having those special people around you. I think I had high expectations when
I moved to Berlin. About the city itself. Some of my friends already told me, that this is not the right
city for me. I wanted to prove that it will be. Berlin and I .. we had our difficulties from the very
beginning. I was trying to convince myself that I really wanna stay there. Start a new life there. But
it's like fate really told me periodically to keep my hands off.
As this blog was created to find some space to write down words about my personal life, lifestyle
and thoughts, I am writing these words. For me. And for the people that made my stay in Berlin a
wonderful experience. Thank you, and on to the next chapter.
back to Vienna for now. I enjoyed working at sisterMAG and this was an experience I don't wanna
miss ever. I learned a lot about this line of business and also about myself. For real now, it was
absolutely amazing. I got to know a lot of creative people – especially my lovely co-workers – found
the creative side that I didn't even knew existed, and challenged myself in many different ways. I was
living the dream, that I was longing for under all circumstances about a year ago. At this point you'll
probably ask yourself: Why the fuck is she back then? Some of you may know that I had the hardest
time being away from my family too. I told myself that it would just take some time to get used to it.
And I was right. I actually got used to it. This doesn't mean that I was happy. After spending an
almost five-week vacay with my family, I caught myself crying, without any reason, when I was
only thinking about going back. Yeah, I know right? This sounds soooo dramatic. So I told myself
to have my emotional five minutes and be all gangster again. I Persuading myself that I was just
exaggerating, I packed my things, hold my tears back and flew back to Berlin – the City where my
dream job was waiting for me.
After being back a week, I was happy to see everyone again. Like, the girls were the sweetest and I
was really happy to be back. But still, I felt like something just wasn't right. So I decided to do
something, that even surprised me at the end of the day. I just told myself to go trust my gut feeling.
I am that kind of person that always has at least kind of a plan and sticks to it. And trust me: The
decision to leave after a week wasn't part of the plan for sure.
I felt good and relived but was annoyed at the same time. I was angry for not taking the challenge.
Cause who's to blame if I find out after a few months, that this wasn't the right decision? Me and only
me. And blaming myself makes it to top 5 of my shitlist. A few days went by, and this anger just
turned into excitement of going back to Vienna. Now that I'm back, I can say, that I made the right
decision for myself. I stopped thinking about what life would look like if I'd decided to stay. I just
know that I will never ever find out. But I find myself writing this last sentence with a smile on my
face.
It's not only about not having those special people around you. I think I had high expectations when
I moved to Berlin. About the city itself. Some of my friends already told me, that this is not the right
city for me. I wanted to prove that it will be. Berlin and I .. we had our difficulties from the very
beginning. I was trying to convince myself that I really wanna stay there. Start a new life there. But
it's like fate really told me periodically to keep my hands off.
As this blog was created to find some space to write down words about my personal life, lifestyle
and thoughts, I am writing these words. For me. And for the people that made my stay in Berlin a
wonderful experience. Thank you, and on to the next chapter.
photos by Cristopher Santos for sisterMAG BTS
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